Green-sistance is Futile: you will be En-Stoopi-cated !!!

This morning, your humble Wizard arrived at work, where he does wizardry of a different sort to IT systems: you could say I'm into Wards and Charms. . .

. . . .when into the corporate mailbox pops this note. . .

(Location-removed-to-protect-the-guilty) Green Agenda-REMINDER MEMO

Huh ?  We have a green agenda ??  Check the "from".  Ah, the "Office Manager".  Who wears Birkenstocks and funky organic-cotton skirts and such, and is always complaining about the lack of Herbal Teas for the Flavia machine in the employee break room. . .

It begins. . .

A greener workplace can mean a lighter ecological footprint, a healthier and more productive place to work, and good news for the bottom line. Whether you’re the boss or the employee, whether your office is green already or still waiting to see the light, some practical steps can lay the groundwork for a healthy, low-impact workspace.

Yadda yadda crunchy shibboleths.  I am a tool-user who adapts his environment to HIS needs, not the other way around. . . .  and I need to see the Light ???  oboy. . . .

Use Green Materials
Some paper use can't be avoided, so use Office Recycle Bins to recycled paper and envelopes that have been processed and colored using eco-friendly methods. Pens and pencils can also be made of recycled materials, and refillable pens and markers are preferable to disposable ones. Use biodegradable soaps and recycled paper or cloth towels in the bathroom and kitchen, and provide biodegradable cleaners for the custodial staff. Recycling printer cartridges is often free, and recycled replacements are cheaper than new ones.

Gee. . . this from the office manager who is IN CHARGE of OFFICE SUPPLIES ??  Not that we use much paper: we have all of 3 printers on our entire floor. . . and ONE is in her office.  My first day, I got a folder from her with at least half an inch of papers in it as a "welcome packet".  All of which was viewable online in the corporate intranet portal. . . As for the paper and pens: all generic mid-grade stuff from the local Office Supply vendor,  NOTHING refillable.  Virgin paper.   Oh well. . .

And then, the topper. . .

Lunch Time
Bringing lunch to work in reusable containers is likely the greenest (and healthiest) way to eat at work. Getting delivery and takeout almost inevitably ends with a miniature mountain of packaging waste. But if you do order delivery, join coworkers in placing a large order (more efficient than many separate ones). Also, bring in your personal reusable plates, utensils (Knife, Forks & Spoons), mugs, and cups. If you do go out for lunch, try biking or walking instead of driving.

Now, I brown-bag it routinely, not because I'm green, but because I'm thrifty AND trying to lose some weight (It interferes with the Levitation Spells. . .I need THREE bat wings now, when it used to take just one. . . ) But now I'm supposed to get what everyone else is getting when they order takeout ??  I don't think so.  The local Chinese place is vile, and the Pizza joint has enough grease to lube the treads of an entire Armored Division.   But I should sublimate MY needs, for the wishes of the many ?   This ain't Star Trek. . .  or maybe it IS. . .

Add to that, something I saw over the weekend.  A report out from the Useless Nitwits telling us that we should eat bugs as a "sustainable alternative to traditional meat production".  191 pages telling us we should ranch bugs rather than cattle.  Heck the San Francisco Chronicle's website says not only is it greener and more sustainable, it will cure both world hunger and obesity. . .

Now, the last claim, I'd believe.  A LOT of people would starve before they ate a bug-burger.   Not only does it tell us the "advantages" of an insect-based diet. but lays out a campaign to fight "food aversion".  In other words, in the eyes of these UN types. . . .eating bugs will NOT be optional. 

Yep.  The Greens ARE the Borg. . . .in Birkenstocks.  Now, where is a Phaser when I need one ??

******

We have a few runners-up today. . . .

Meet Kaitlyn Hunt.  Lovely, bright 18-year old High School Senior. . . .

She's been expelled from school, and threatened with jail time.

Because she had a younger girlfriend, and, as high-school couples often do, they got busy.

But, the parents of her girlfriend found out, and apparently, they don't like teh ghey, and wanted to punish the horrid beast that defiled and despoiled their precious fount of virtue, virginity, and otherwise popped the bubble of their constructed reality. . .

But she's currently facing 15 years in the slammer, all because she was 18 and her girlfriend was 15. (Note: WTF were they thinking: Sending a lesbian to a WOMAN'S PRISON???  If you want to punish her, sentence her to 15 years of endless Justin Bieber. . . .)   Funny, I don't see them prosecuting all the Senior-Sophomore and Senior-Freshman couples.  Oh, they're straight, that's ACCEPTABLE . . .   Bovine excrement, and Kaitlyn and her GF weren't going to get preggers, which at least a few of the Hetero couples will. . . .

There's a petition supporting Kate, asking the local DA to back off.  It worked for Science Fair Girl, hopefully it will work here, too.  Your Wizard signed, and hopes you will too, if for nothing else than to fight teh stoopid. . .

******

Lastly, the Town of Radstock, in Somerset, England, has decided to ban the traditional English flag, the Cross of Saint George.

 

Because, it might offend the Muslims. . . .  We've been here before.  Because, YAAFM. . . .

 . . . and that is about all of teh Burning Stoopid I can handle today. . .