Today's Burning Stoopid Award goes to the Cupertino Union School District, in Cupertino, California. Apparently, they hold a week-long nature camp in the Marin Headlands, north of San Francisco.
Which brings us to the story of young Braden Bannerman. A fifth-grader growing up in the heart of Silicon Valley, on this week-long voyage into Nature. And amongst the items he packed for this trip, was a simple Swiss Army Knife. Yep. The FIRST Multi-tool, LONG pre-dating the Leatherman.
I'm sure you can guess what happened next. A teacher saw that Braden had, in his possession, the dreaded and deadly Swiss Army Knife. A Conniption was had. Authorities were notified. Thank God he also didn't have a lighter, he might have . . . . . MacGyvered something, and we just can't have that. . .
But it gets better. Seems, his father was on a business trip, ~100 miles away, and was demanded to drive back, pick up his son for a day, and after the day's suspension, drive back and drop him off. Minus, of course, the High-Capacity Assault Swiss Army Knife of Mass Destruction. . .
Bannerman, Senior, basically told the School District to stick their demand where the sun don't shine. Get a kid in trouble for carrying a Swiss Army Knife on a CAMPING trip ?? I mean, what were they smok- - - nevermind, it's California, we know what was being smoked. . .
Yes, friends, again, we heap scorn on the idiotic idea of "Zero Tolerance". Especially zero-tolerance of things that AREN'T weapons. There have been numerous examples lately. Like the Cupcakes decorated with Toy Soldiers confiscated by a Michigan Elementary School. . . Or that evil, Assault Pop-Tart in Maryland. Or that Marine Corps T-shirt that was deemed "problematical" because it had crossed images of rifles on it. . .
Mind you, "zero tolerance" was originally a decent, if not perfect idea. But today's hyper-paranoia claiming that Toy Soldiers were "weapons of war", or a Marine Corps T-shirt was inciting violence, are beyond idiotic, and have ventured into a place beyond judgement and intelligence. A place devoid of logic. A zone we call. . . . Teh Burning Stoopid.
And today's runner-up: the City of Philadelphia, which has decided to fund the sex-change operations of its' employees. Because for a nearly bankrupt city, in the midst of economic hard-times, societal strife and international trouble, this is the prevailing issue of our day and age. Riiiiiiiiight. . . .